Stuart Howarth - 'Please Daddy No'
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Please Daddy No


Synopsis

 
Stuart just wanted his father to love him, but he was made to believe he was too naughty to be loved. Finally, David Howarth was sent to prison for abusing Stuart's young sisters. Nobody knew the truth about Stuart's abuse until one fateful day when his father tried it again and Stuart fought back in the only way he knew how. Stuart Howarth spent the first thirty years of his life in mental and physical hell. After years of emotional torment and despair, at the age of 32 Stuart felt an overwhelming urge to see his father (who he now knew was actually his stepfather), then living in Wales. Seeking reconciliation, Stuart was only to be met by the same old abusive man. The rage, pain and confusion boiled over in Stuart and he fought back, killing his stepfather. When Stuart's story came to light in the courtroom, it was so terrible that he received the minimum possible sentence for his crime and only served thirteen months in Strangeways prison in Manchester. But while in prison, the cruel system compounded the crimes of his evil abuser, and he suffered at the hands of the prison guards. What happened to him during those months led to him suing the Home Office and Strangeways on his release and winning his case. This is the story of a sweet-natured boy who grew into a brave young man and refused to allow himself to be a victim any longer.

I first started to write this book whilst in prison and it helped me to cope through all those terrible times. In the main, the book acted as a kind of therapy and helped me to release my inner most thoughts and emotions locked away for so many years.

This assisted me greatly as I would have to expose my hurt and pain for the very first time and also to men, whom I was so afraid. The perpetrators of my abuse were all male so talking to a male Psychiatrist would not be easy. Further, my legal team had expressed concern about me holding back on memories and I thought if I could write it down before I said it, this would make it easier. Suicide always remained an option!

The psychiatrists who assessed me wanted to know every intricate detail and I often wondered whether or not they were getting some kind of kick out of it. I know today that they weren't, but over the years my mind had become twisted with false perceptions and projected fears.

The purpose of the book is to educate the world and to give you an insight into some peoples terrible and horrendous realities. My hope is that much good will come from it and being where I have, I have to try.

It is possible for us all to recover but it is no easy process. It takes time, a need to be honest and in a place of trust. Quite often people who have suffered similar events with whom you can identify, but have also made a full recovery, is from my experience the best place to start.

I hope that this book will give you the courage to act as we all have our part to play. It is often the smallest of things that can make the greatest changes. In the time it has taken you to read this piece thousands of children have been hurt across the world and many adults are suffering in pain and silence.

Please  keep a look out for my next book 'Finding Stuart', which tells of my journey to find out who I really am and how I began and continue the recovery process.

My love, thoughts and prayers are with the still suffering.

Click here to read Stuart's Poem
 
'Please Daddy No': A Boy Betrayed - Stuart Howarth
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